February 14^th is almost upon us. For most it represents Valentines Day, the day where couples across the U.S celebrate their relationship and shower one another with tender love and affection. I’ll pause here. For me, February 14^th represents nothing more than the day before the real Holiday. You might be interested to know that February 15^th is also a “well known” holiday. It is called “Singles Awareness Day.” While Valentines Day has its origin from ancient Rome, Singles Awareness Day has its origin sometime around the 1600’s to the 1900’s from a single guy named Dustin Barnes from Mississippi State University.

Alright, so maybe that doesn’t help my argument.

While these days are separated by a mere second on the calendar, they couldn’t be any farther apart in our hearts. This is never more true than when you are single longing to be in a relationship. It’s natural to want to experience love first hand. Yeah sure, it’s good that he has her or she has him but when it comes to love we instinctually look out for our own selves first. It doesn’t seem to matter how strongly we are committed to giving ourselves away to the people around us, we naturally have this yearning that is implanted into our DNA when we are born where we need to know love in an intimate way, and for good reason- God created us this way.

Perhaps our view of love is skewed. I cannot begin to tell you how many people I have asked about love and they cannot give me any real answers. It doesn’t matter, Christian or not, married or single, young or old, White, Black or Hispanic, coffee drinkers or nonfat soy latte folk, the distinctions seem to make no difference. We, as people, seem to have a huge disconnection with love.

This may seem overly simplistic but I believe that Jesus taught us everything we need to know about love when He walked among us. Every aspect of His life pointed to His love for humanity but something that has captured my heart recently is the story of Thomas.

Jesus has already been crucified and now He is appearing to all of the Disciples. So this is where we pick up…

John 20:24-27
24Now Thomas (called Didymus), one of the Twelve, was not with the disciples when Jesus came. 25So the other disciples told him, “We have seen the Lord!” But he said to them, “Unless I see the nail marks in his hands and put my finger where the nails were, and put my hand into his side, I will not believe it.” 26A week later his disciples were in the house again, and Thomas was with them. Though the doors were locked, Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you!”27Then he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe.”

Thomas is a disciple but for whatever reason he is not with them when Jesus appears to them. Thomas is so bold as to doubt his very own Rabbi, the man who has invested His time and energy into teaching and instructing him in the ways of the Lord. All the other disciples bare witness to the fact that Jesus appeared to them but Thomas doubts even his beloved brothers, whom he is closest to on this earth, as they give their accounts. Thomas remains in his unbelief stating that he will not believe unless he can see the nail marks in his hands and put his finger where the nails were, and his hand into the side of Jesus.

In this passage, Thomas and Jesus portray love at its core. Love is linked to trust. Thomas told the other disciples that he wouldn’t “trust” or believe unless he could physically touch the scars of Jesus. In this respect, I am the same as Thomas. When I translate this into my walk through this earth it looks similar but with a twist. Love walks in when I show you my scars: my past relationships, my broken spirit, my trials and tribulations, my struggles and defeats, the things I’m proud of and the things I regret, the marks left from unmet expectations, my hopes and dreams, and even my feelings and emotions. Not only do I show you, I also invite you to touch my scars. I invite you into my most intimate part where you can see my struggles; where you can see my victories and defeats, the brightest light and the darkest dark of my soul and I say as Christ “put your finger here, see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side.”

Now Thomas gets love, but the only reason he gets it is because Jesus was willing to bare His scars and invite him to touch the marks.

In the back of my mind I can’t help but wonder what would have happened if Jesus invited Thomas to touch his scars and Thomas said he didn’t want to. That was a possibility for Jesus. Jesus knew that Thomas had the choice to reject His love and I walk around everyday with the same realization as Jesus- that if I open up and show someone my scars they have the choice to either touch them or reject me altogether. I wish I could tell you that every time I am face to face with this reality I have been brave and courageous but that wouldn’t be true. Unfortunately, love is in the baring of scars to one another but fortunately for us, love is in the baring of our scars to one another. You see, your scars are what make you unique. Your scars are what make you lovable. It’s when you invite someone to touch your scars and they step in and choose to embrace them with tenderness and care that love is birthed and life is enriched.

Love isn’t easy but it is worth the risk.